"Son of a . . . ."

So as I sat pulling books out from under the playpen while Sedona and Bayley played nearby, Jordan and his friend Austin came in from riding bikes and started one of the funnier conversations of late.

I jokingly put an empty bowl on Sedona's head and laughed that she was "stylin' now". Austin said "I could totally wear that as a hat to school if it was a different color."
"oh yeah? and you'd get all the girls?" I queried.
"It takes a boy and a girl to have a baby, you know."
Thank you, Austin. A little late but useful information nevertheless.
I nodded and said something to the effect of "well yes it does" or "Right you are, son". Something chummy and evasive.
But could we leave it at that?
Certainly not.

"You know I saw this girl on the news who had a baby when she was like 18!".
outrage.
dismay.
awe?

"Well, it happens."
"No but she was like only 18!"
At which point Jordan chimes in with some "whoa"s and "yeah"s all the while making a face at me like "umm . . duh, mother. 18!!! We're saying 18 here!"
And I just couldn't help myself.

"Well I had you when I was 17 and didn't make it on the news." Shrug.
Wide-eyed.
"Yup. 17."

And Jordan's arms go up, suddenly limp and as if being carelessly flailed around by some force other than his own, he kind of leans back, then forward, arms up then down. limp. pretty floppy.
And then a rather drawn out, breathy -
"Son of a bitch."
and some more dramatics with the arms.

I sat and stared. Thought for a moment, figuring my best approach.
"Jordan," I asked calmly and with a little smirk, "did you just call me a bitch?"

But he didn't miss a beat.
"No - I just mean like, the whole world is kind of a bitch."

Wow.
What else could I do?
"Right on. Probably a better way to say it though, right?"
"Yeah, Mom, I know."
Chuckle.
"You know that I am serious even though I'm smiling at you right, darling?"
Another chuckle.
"Yeah, Mom, I know. C'mon Austin let's go like skate or something."

And as they walk out the door I hear
"Maybe that girl was like 18 or 10. Yeah like 10."

So now Jordan and Bayley have spruced up their repertoire with some new, improved, 33% more free phrases. I've included a few of my favorites:

• Son of mother!
• Son of a goat! (Which I will accept blame for - -it was meant as a joke. never intended for it to stick)
• Son of a Paw-Paw! (Bayley's grandpa)
• Son of my daddy!
• Son of a carseat!
• Son of a cop!

And as you can imagine, they are able to insert just about any and every thing they see into this one multipurpose phrase.

Still -

Jana